One of the things you generally figure out after coaching for a while is that identity shapes behaviour. You’ve probably had clients who nail their workouts and stick to their nutrition plans for a while, only to fall back into old habits. You might even hear them say, “I just don’t think I’m the kind of person who can stick with this.”
That’s a really telling statement. It hints at the real challenge that a lot of people face: their self-identity. Helping clients shift how they see themselves is one of the most powerful ways to create lasting change.
Over the years, I’ve worked with hundreds of clients, and one thing has become increasingly clear: behaviour change starts with identity change. Habits stick when they align with who we believe we are. In this article, I want to do a bit of a deep dive into the role of self-identity in forming habits and explore strategies you can use to guide your clients toward adopting a “fit person” mindset.
The Power of Self-Identity
Your self-identity (how you see yourself) is like a guiding star for your behaviours. It’s the baseline that your actions gravitate toward.
If someone identifies as a “fit person,” they’ll naturally make choices that align with that identity. They’ll prioritise workouts, choose healthier meals, and even speak about themselves with pride and confidence in their lifestyle.
On the flip side, if someone sees themselves as “not fit” or “bad with food,” their habits will reflect that belief.
Even when they attempt to build healthier routines, their actions will feel temporary, like they’re “pretending” to be someone they’re not. It’s no surprise that they revert to old habits the moment life gets stressful.
Identity Shapes Behaviour
So, how does identity shape behaviour?
When clients identify with certain traits or roles, they’re more likely to adopt habits that align with those traits. For example:
- “I am a fit person” leads to consistent workouts and healthier food choices.
- “I am a mindful eater” encourages better portion control and food quality awareness.
- “I am someone who prioritises self-care” supports stress management and rest.
Identity provides a reason behind the action. Instead of “I’m going to the gym because I have to,” it becomes “I’m going to the gym because that’s what fit people do, and I am one of them.” This intrinsic motivation is far more sustainable.
Helping Clients Shift Their Identity
So, how do you help clients shift their self-identity? Here are some strategies that have worked well in my coaching practice:
1. Start Small and Build Evidence
Identity change happens when clients see proof of their new identity in action. This doesn’t mean they have to overhaul their lives overnight. Start with small, consistent actions that provide evidence of their desired identity.
For example:
- Clients who want to see themselves as “active” might start with a 10-minute daily walk.
- Someone who wants to be “health-conscious” can focus on drinking a glass of water before each meal.
Celebrate these small wins and connect them to their identity. “You chose to take the stairs instead of the elevator today, and that’s exactly what active people do!”
This seems somewhat infantilising, but you really are just building their confidence. These small wins show them that they can actually align their behaviours with a new identity.
2. Use Identity-Based Affirmations
Encourage clients to use affirmations that reinforce their new identity. These should be specific, positive, and tied to their actions. For example:
- “I am someone who prioritises my health.”
- “I am the kind of person who enjoys nourishing my body with good food.”
Affirmations might feel awkward at first, but when repeated and paired with action, they can reshape how clients see themselves.
3. Create Role Models and Communities
Humans are social creatures. We’re influenced by the people we surround ourselves with. Help your clients find role models who embody the identity they’re working toward. This might be:
- A friend who consistently prioritises their health.
- A supportive fitness community.
- Inspirational stories of transformation.
The more your clients see people like them adopting healthy identities, the more they’ll believe they can do it too.
This can become negative though, if overused. I will regularly work with clients who follow thousands of health and fitness influencers on social media. At some stage, this does just become pathological and you begin to develop a warped sense of reality.
Oftentimes, it actually makes it more difficult to engage in healthy habits as you are being told so many conflicting things and there are so many people with seemingly perfect lives that you feel like you can never actually become one of these people.
4. Shift the Language
Words matter immensely. The language clients use to describe themselves often reflects and reinforces their self-identity.
For example, if a client says, “I’m bad at sticking to routines,” it’s essential to gently reframe that narrative. Instead, say something like, “You’re someone who’s actively learning to build lasting routines.”
This subtle shift encourages a growth mindset and positions the client as capable of change. Remember, language not only reveals beliefs but also has the power to reshape them, creating a positive feedback loop that drives healthier behaviours over time.
5. Focus on Process, Not Outcomes
Many clients are fixated on outcomes: the number on the scale, their 5k time, or how much weight they can lift. While goals are important, they’re not the full picture. Shift the focus to the process.
For instance, instead of celebrating weight loss, celebrate the actions that led to it: “You’ve consistently meal-prepped for four weeks. That’s what healthy, committed people do.” This reinforces the identity that will sustain the habits.
6. Reflect on Wins
Regularly reflect on wins, no matter how small. Ask questions like:
- “What’s one thing you did this week that made you feel proud?”
- “What’s a moment when you acted like the healthy person you’re becoming?”
These reflections help clients internalise their progress and solidify their new identity. It can seem a bit cringe-inducing at times, but you are just trying to get them to see that they are slowly becoming the person they want to be.
Overcoming Resistance to Identity Change
Identity change isn’t always easy. Clients might resist because their current identity feels safe, even if it’s not serving them. Here’s how to address common obstacles:
1. Fear of Judgment
Clients might worry about how others will perceive their new identity. Help them focus on their “why.” Why do they want to be healthier? What does it mean to them? A strong “why” helps them stay grounded when facing external judgment.
2. Imposter Syndrome
When clients start adopting new habits, they might feel like imposters. Reassure them that this feeling is normal. Encourage them to keep taking small actions and remind them: “The more you act like a fit person, the more you become one.”
3. Setbacks
Setbacks can shake a client’s confidence. Normalise them as part of the process. Instead of seeing a missed workout or indulgent meal as failure, frame it as a learning opportunity. “What can we tweak to make it easier for you to stay on track next time?”
These setbacks don’t need to define their identity, especially if they are only on the journey to developing their new identity.
Final Thoughts on How Identity Shapes Behaviour
As coaches, we often focus on the external: workout programs, meal plans, and progress tracking. But the internal work (helping clients reshape their identity) is where the real magic happens. When clients see themselves as healthy, fit people, their actions will naturally align with that belief.
Your role is to guide them on this journey. Celebrate their wins, reframe their setbacks, and remind them of the person they’re becoming. Identity shapes behaviour, and with your support, your clients can create a self-identity that drives lasting change.
So, the next time you’re coaching a client, ask yourself: How can I help them see themselves as the healthy, fit person they want to be? The answer to that question might just be the key to helping them get the results they desire.
If you need more help or want to learn more, we have a lot of free content available in our content hub. If you want even more free information, you can follow us on Instagram, YouTube or listen to the podcast. You can always stay up to date with our latest content by subscribing to our newsletter.
Finally, if you want to learn how to coach nutrition, then consider our Nutrition Coach Certification course, and if you want to learn to get better at exercise program design, then consider our course on exercise program design. We do have other courses available too. If you don’t understand something, or you just need clarification, you can always reach out to us on Instagram or via email.
Paddy Farrell
Hey, I'm Paddy!
I am a coach who loves to help people master their health and fitness. I am a personal trainer, strength and conditioning coach, and I have a degree in Biochemistry and Biomolecular Science. I have been coaching people for over 10 years now.
When I grew up, you couldn't find great health and fitness information, and you still can't really. So my content aims to solve that!
I enjoy training in the gym, doing martial arts and hiking in the mountains (around Europe, mainly). I am also an avid reader of history, politics and science. When I am not in the mountains, exercising or reading, you will likely find me in a museum.